Commercial Break: Netflix Edition

I really don’t think that this “phenomenon” is…well…real.

Seriously? I especially love the disclaimer thrown in at the end. Methinks someone was coming up on a deadline and used an isolated domestic spat as content instead of discussing something substantial.

It’s okay, NYTimes, you can’t win everyday. I <3 you anyways.



Now playing: Rilo Kiley - Breakin' Up
via FoxyTunes

The One With the Facebook Dilemma (Pt. 1)

I realized a few days ago, as I was integrating my Twitter account with my BlackBerry, Facebook, not MySpace, and Ze Blog, that there are a lot of ways for people to constantly be in the know about not that much about me. Honestly, if I sneeze, I have a direct line to inform about 1,700 people should I feel they urgently need that information. They don’t, so I don’t, but still.

As usual, I digress.

The updating of my Newsfeed or Twitterfeed or whateverfeed isn’t what is angsting me out today though – it's who has access to that feed - it is the age old, long-pondered over question: To friend, or not to friend?

Cyberstalking is as old as dirt, or Google, but it is definitely the go-to tool for finding out too much information before you should, in theory, rightfully have it. Honestly, do I need to know that my crush LOOOOVVEESSSS Whitesnake before we’ve even shared appetizers? Probably not. But these are the kinds of tidbits of information that we squeeze out from the premature scouring of the social networking sites of our potential paramours.

Now. I try to stay away from this where I can – seeing pictures of old girlfriends or MySpace backdrops of topless girls on motorcycles are things that I’m best equipped to absorbed after I’ve completely determined that the person is single and not a total horn dog. But, it necessitates an answer to the question: When is the appropriate time to commence your virtual relationship alongside your real-life one? When do you click that “add as friend” button without it being too early? Too late?


Think about it.

If you go on a few dates with a guy, when should he have access to the virtual self you’ve set up for yourself online? When do you want access to his? And if things don’t work out, do you dump them online too or are they now forever licensed to know when you update your picture or go from “single” to “in a relationship” with someone who made it past the 5th date? If someone friends you – do you HAVE to accept right away? Can you leave them in friend purgatory until you figure it out?

It seems like a lot of pressure is packed into this pretty loaded action. Inviting someone into your virtual circle allows them access to all your pictures, thoughts, opinions, whatever you’ve decided to put out there. I know sometimes my opinions of a person live and die by what they’ve crafted as their virtual presence, and while my online self is borderline as fabulous as my real-life self, I don’t know if this is the criteria I would like to be judged upon.

More on this later…

Now playing: Eva Cassidy - You don't Know me
via FoxyTunes

The One With The Nothing Fight

Okay. You know what The Nothing Fight is, yes? If not, click here.

(Sorry about the anime? Let’s just be creative and say it adds a new dimension to the point.)

Anyway.

Now that we’re all caught up, and possibly hankering for some Dragonball-Z, here’s what I don’t get – why would ANYONE, much less seemingly competent people who function normally in all other aspects of their life, be content to stay in a relationship that is constantly steeped in conflict?

Disclaimer: Despite the potential entertainment value that you’d think I’d get as a single woman seeing “happy couples” around me fight, I gain no joy from seeing strangers, friends, or co-workers is situations like this for two reasons. 1) I really feel bad for couples who are genuinely unhappy but for some reason can’t get themselves out of a toxic relationship and 2) because it makes me feel like a big two-headed freak that two people who borderline HATE each other have standing Friday night dates and a steady source of jollies - but I don’t.

Moving on.

While it’s admittedly been a while since I’ve been in a relationship long enough for a deal-breaker to surface and have my first thought be, “How do I deal with this?” instead of “Hmmm…wonder how long I should wait until I unfriend this tool on Facebook,” I really don’t understand the point of staying with a person who you can’t stand more frequently than you can.

Let me draw you a little picture of how this works in my mind:


As you can see, my threshold is low. While my list of deal-breakers may seem petty to some of my friends (like the fact that I can’t stand a person who has no ability to differentiate between homonyms [“your” and “you’re” are TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS PEOPLE]), one of the biggest, most non-negotiable ones is a basic lack of respect and appreciation for each other in the relationship. During almost every fight that I’ve gotten into with a significant other I’ve had the distinct feeling that the person was being crazy, an idiot, or both. Now, if this holds true, then that means that there are a bunch of couples walking around at any given time that are harboring ugly thoughts for the person that their with for a significant amount of time. That’s a big sign to get out, yes? Aren’t these fights a symptom of a relationship that has run its course?

Apparently not.

I don’t know. I don’t have the answer on this kiddies. It’s totally possible that I throw relationships away before I’m ready to make the grown-up sacrifice of dealing with Nothing Fights. Is there a ratio of Good to Bad that people go by? If you only fight 30% of the time, is that cool?

The best I can come up with is that maybe for some people fighting is a way to show that they care. Or maybe the people who have the most numerous, most ridiculous Nothing Fights have makeup sex soooooo good they’d rather hate the crap out of each other than give it up?

You tell me.

UPDATE: Upon further thought - this is what the graph really should look like.


Once I've reached my threshold, a fight about where we're going for dinner could potentially make me abandon ship. Plus, always title your graphs, kids. :)

Now playing: Puddle of Mudd - She Hates Me
via FoxyTunes

The One With the Birthday Boy

In the season of…this season…here’s a topical flashback:

It is my experience that nothing good ever happens on Fat Tuesday.

Rephrase.

Nothing that I would ever want mom and pops or any future significant others to know about EVER happens on Fat Tuesday.

Case in point: the events of Fat Tuesday, 2k7.

GeekU’s version of Cheers is a charming little establishment that is part restaurant (first floor), part bar (second floor), and part club (third floor). Levels of sketch increase the higher up you go. So much so that the third floor was a place you could only get me to go if it was clear that I no longer remembered my name.

Anyway.

The Bar staff/management decide to throw a Fat Tuesday party in celebration of all things God debauch. I, ever the loyal patron, hurry over immediately after practice (with bag full of gym clothes, toiletries, toothbrush, small children, you get the point…) to meet up with The Crew and get my drink on.

After 30 minutes I quickly realize it’s going to be one of those nights and take another shot of tequila as a de facto way of deciding class is NOT going to happen the next day. This is around the time I set my cross-hairs on a young chap I had kind-of, sort-of been eyeing for a few weeks around campus.

The kind of Girl Game that only presents itself when there is a little lot of liquid courage in play explains what happens next:

I bat my eyelashes. He comes over. It’s his birthday? Where are his friends? Staying in? Don’t worry, Young Chap, I’ll show you a good time. ::Drink Drink Shot Drink::

- Three Hours Later -

Me. One shoe. Heels in hand. Stumbling home from Casa de Young Chap through 3 inches of snow (seriously, in ONE shoe). 153 Mardi Gras beads around my neck.

Him. Going to sleep with a smile on his face because I gave him the best birthday present of his life.

Details. Hazy.
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- Note to Self: Self, don't be such a slacker when updating the blog. ;)


Now playing: Asher Roth - I Love College
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